… and after only one chapter.
By now, I should have written 16,660 words in my NaNoWriMo novel. I’ve only accomplised barely one-tenth of that total.
I wrote a chapter. Read it over a few times. And decided I didn’t want to rush this story. The characters sounded wrong to me. I want there to be more tension between Det. Cleary and Tommy Durst. I don’t know what I want Det. Ellison to be, but it sure isn’t what he sounds like now. And I want to know Adam Fulton — the victim — a lot more.
I have a strong sense of the dynamic between Cleary and Crash, but it’s Crash’s relationship with Adam that drives him to get involved with the investigation.
I’m not going to this story justice in 30 days.
It was easy to write The Courtship of Gary Huang in 30 days because I was making Gary deal with something I didn’t want to — mustering up the courage to love and, potentially, to be hurt again.
I’m not sure I know Crash, let alone Adam, enough to figure out why he’d work to find Adam’s killer. I think, though, part of him wants to be around Cleary, but he can only do it under the pretense of “work”.
Yeah, yeah. It sounds like I can churn out this story. But I can’t. I don’t even have details of the crime down yet. And I haven’t even begun to think about Adam’s bosses, the guys who supply him with the Ecstacy he sells.
So I quit.
I’m not writing the novel I said I would for NaNoWriMo. I didn’t register anyway, so I’m not out of any cash donations.
More to the point, I just don’t feel like writing right now. I’m worried about my car. I’m worried about my money. If anything, slowly getting back into the job market — first with the store, now with the new job — occupied my time and energy. The great comfort of being laid off in a sucky economy was the futility of job searching. Why bang my head against the wall when I could write a novel instead?
Can’t quite do that right now. Not while I’m trying to rebuild my nest egg.