I remember now why I procrastinate when writing lyrics.
I’ve recounted stories many times about writing lyrics before the music when I first started out writing songs. Nowadays, I write music first, and write lyrics later.
Much, much, much later.
I’ve had a number of untitled songs sitting around in unfinished form since 1999, and over the weekend, I managed to attach a bit of meaning to them now. It’s not an easy process, and I think it’s the most creatively draining part of the whole kit-and-proverbial caboodle.
You got your X number of syllables. You got the song’s tone to consider. Matching the two is a process of trial and error, and it’s slow going.
“I remember when the earth was flatter”
“There’s a picture hanging on the back wall”
“Someone somewhere told me something diff’rent”
“Circumstances call for diff’rent measures”
All these sentences could fit a single melodic line, but which one would I feel least silliest singing? It took me two days of wrangling a catchy line to what would eventually become a song titled “Without Nothing”. I scratched out lines on two different pieces of paper before I hit on something that felt like something I could draw out further.
I remember all the things you told me
I remember all the things you did
I was trying to avoid that kind of repetition because its an easy cop-out, but there was a sentiment beneath the surface I wanted to explore. So I continued.
I remember all the things you told me
I remember all the things you did
How can I remember all the things that you want me to do?
I believed that you could walk on water
I believed that you could raise the dead
How can I believe that what you promised will work in the end?
I had actually written the chorus a few hours earlier, but scrapped it when I couldn’t match come up with verses that matched the sentiment. It didn’t seem like a perfect fit, but it fit good enough.
I just know …
It’s the one thing I’ve been waiting for all my life
It means nothing without you to make it right
The next lines that came out of me surprised me. I don’t know where it came from, but they crystallized for whom the song is intended.
I remember all the times I wanted
Something in me to change overnight
I accept that it could never happen and I don’t blame you
That stanza is pretty darn gay. So I know what had to happen in the next verse.
I believe you cannot walk on water
I believe you cannot raise the dead
I don’t believe that you could never change what is done in the end
And repeat the chorus, but it gets a bit longer …
I just know …
It’s the one thing I’ve been waiting for all my life
It means nothing without you to make it right
Give me something to remind me how it could be
Without nothing I can never learn to be free
So this song is about maintaining spirituality in the face of coming out? Perhaps. I didn’t set out to write that song, because I’m a recovering Catholic, and I like to keep “gay” and “religion” mutually exclusive concepts. But someone trying to resolve both might adopt this song as their theme, and why should I stand in the way of that?
Matching the right words to the melody takes time, and I tend to go with the first thing I latch onto. It doesn’t take long to tap the flow once it gets starting, and of course, I always edit while writing and for a good while afterward.
Other lyrics I wrote over the weekend came with much more ease, and I have to say some of the results even surprised me. The song that eventually became “Here” worried me, because the melody is plaintive and sits on a very odd chord progression. “Letter” and “Restraint” are auto-biographical to a point, whereas “Rescuer” and “Without Nothing” is fiction where my perspective is concerned.
I wish I could have set lyrics to a song going by the working title “Untitled (Hokuro/Vox)”, but, well, I haven’t settled on a melody for that song just yet.